Are we saying that things need to change before we decide to join your society?
Where's the incentive for staying within a group of people who we consider assholes?
16 January 2012
09 January 2012
Changing to do, ramblingly
I don't know what to do. I've...never really had this problem in this way before.
Things that I thought I wanted no longer seem as important. I feel like I'm in kind of a free fall where time has stopped but I have not. I feel like I am watching everything around me happening in slow motion. I feel a strange sense of detachment, but not *quite* apathy.
What is this mood? What is this lack of zeal to DO?
I'm not worried about failing; I'm not worried about putting effort forward with no result.
I'm worried that I don't know where to put my efforts, I guess. But I don't want to sit on my brains and indecisions, either.
Maybe I haven't come to terms with myself. Like...I thought I knew what I wanted and what was best/logical/desirable/natural, but it doesn't seem so best/logical/desirable/natural now.
You know the drill: Get a good education, get a job you can have fun doing, find a mate, mate it up, make some family members, think about stuff, be a good person in your community, chillax and enjoy the beauty of life.
But. BUT. But. There are many problems with this.
First, I've always felt skeptical of this formula for basic reasons, even before this recent mental weirdness - there's an inherent lack of community (family units do not count as community), it's kind of boring-sounding and there's not a lot of room in this societal structure to do something else and seem 'successful.'
Maybe more importantly to this recent mental weirdness, however, are the large facts that I've recently (allowed myself to) become aware of. Our way of life is selfish to other humans, to other life and to the earth itself. This pattern of existence is too complacent and allows for mad amounts of corruption by those who are even MORE bored by it. It's not satisfying or progressive to a lot of people. We treat ourselves and everything around us like ignorant shit. Truth.
I feel like I've been looking for a long time for a mentor, or a leader, or someone who could help me in this journey. Someone with all of the answers. I've looked to parents, teachers, peers, mates, friends, religions, institutions, educations, philosophies, whatever.
And maybe this approach was fundamentally flawed, although I'd like to say that I've been learning the whole time. I guess I'm starting to wake up a little more and realize my own mind. Or understanding that the answers that I look for lie more in my own experiences than in others'.
And what of these experiences? How does a person know which experiences to seek? Which opportunities to embrace and which to reject?
What to do?? What not to do???
Things that I thought I wanted no longer seem as important. I feel like I'm in kind of a free fall where time has stopped but I have not. I feel like I am watching everything around me happening in slow motion. I feel a strange sense of detachment, but not *quite* apathy.
What is this mood? What is this lack of zeal to DO?
I'm not worried about failing; I'm not worried about putting effort forward with no result.
I'm worried that I don't know where to put my efforts, I guess. But I don't want to sit on my brains and indecisions, either.
Maybe I haven't come to terms with myself. Like...I thought I knew what I wanted and what was best/logical/desirable/natural, but it doesn't seem so best/logical/desirable/natural now.
You know the drill: Get a good education, get a job you can have fun doing, find a mate, mate it up, make some family members, think about stuff, be a good person in your community, chillax and enjoy the beauty of life.
But. BUT. But. There are many problems with this.
First, I've always felt skeptical of this formula for basic reasons, even before this recent mental weirdness - there's an inherent lack of community (family units do not count as community), it's kind of boring-sounding and there's not a lot of room in this societal structure to do something else and seem 'successful.'
Maybe more importantly to this recent mental weirdness, however, are the large facts that I've recently (allowed myself to) become aware of. Our way of life is selfish to other humans, to other life and to the earth itself. This pattern of existence is too complacent and allows for mad amounts of corruption by those who are even MORE bored by it. It's not satisfying or progressive to a lot of people. We treat ourselves and everything around us like ignorant shit. Truth.
I feel like I've been looking for a long time for a mentor, or a leader, or someone who could help me in this journey. Someone with all of the answers. I've looked to parents, teachers, peers, mates, friends, religions, institutions, educations, philosophies, whatever.
And maybe this approach was fundamentally flawed, although I'd like to say that I've been learning the whole time. I guess I'm starting to wake up a little more and realize my own mind. Or understanding that the answers that I look for lie more in my own experiences than in others'.
And what of these experiences? How does a person know which experiences to seek? Which opportunities to embrace and which to reject?
What to do?? What not to do???
03 January 2012
Missing the point
I think I am sometimes. I wonder..
Time passes and I'm not sure I'm getting it. I'm not sure where to look. It's both incredibly inspiring and incredibly depressing to think of how much no one really knows about what's happening. I guess it makes sense - if we had a significant amount of mentorship in these times, we wouldn't be in these times.
Like a lot of people I encounter, it's difficult and frustrating to know exactly what to do, day-to-day. To be blunt, if one wants to have no further impact on the world, one needs only to end their life. And that's not an option for (I hope) most of us!
So, how do we strike this balance?
On one side: we need to aggressively change our individual and collective actions to save the world and to preserve human rights. We are running out of resources, we are massively polluting the world, we are increasing global temperatures with disastrous impacts, we're killing people in the Middle East for oil, we're letting people die in Africa for lack of oil and we're trying our damnedest to hide in a world of make-believe while all this happens.
On the other side: we need to remember what it means to be human. We need to make sure we're having fun (or what's the point?), we need to remember that we're all capable of poor judgement and we need to forgive each other and ourselves for the irresponsible things we've done. Compassion and understanding are not best when rushed.
How do we balance these things? How do we love and yet condemn? How do we make changes that will require sacrifices from all of us? How do we consider these human transgressions daily without hate, malice or depression?
What can we do? What more can I do than protest and tell everyone I know to be more aware? Am I lazy? Do I remain unsure and convince myself that I cannot do more because of fear?
Possibly..
Time passes and I'm not sure I'm getting it. I'm not sure where to look. It's both incredibly inspiring and incredibly depressing to think of how much no one really knows about what's happening. I guess it makes sense - if we had a significant amount of mentorship in these times, we wouldn't be in these times.
Like a lot of people I encounter, it's difficult and frustrating to know exactly what to do, day-to-day. To be blunt, if one wants to have no further impact on the world, one needs only to end their life. And that's not an option for (I hope) most of us!
So, how do we strike this balance?
On one side: we need to aggressively change our individual and collective actions to save the world and to preserve human rights. We are running out of resources, we are massively polluting the world, we are increasing global temperatures with disastrous impacts, we're killing people in the Middle East for oil, we're letting people die in Africa for lack of oil and we're trying our damnedest to hide in a world of make-believe while all this happens.
On the other side: we need to remember what it means to be human. We need to make sure we're having fun (or what's the point?), we need to remember that we're all capable of poor judgement and we need to forgive each other and ourselves for the irresponsible things we've done. Compassion and understanding are not best when rushed.
How do we balance these things? How do we love and yet condemn? How do we make changes that will require sacrifices from all of us? How do we consider these human transgressions daily without hate, malice or depression?
What can we do? What more can I do than protest and tell everyone I know to be more aware? Am I lazy? Do I remain unsure and convince myself that I cannot do more because of fear?
Possibly..
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