So, here's my 300-word essay on the desk jockey shit hole.
What's less human than the hell of an air-conditioned, sanitized room where you're paid to sit still and move and talk and feel minimally while bright information is forced in your face in the most efficient (read: least fun) way possible? In fact, the more boring it seems, the better!
Not much is less human. Not much feels less human.
Why is it considered wrong to want to satisfy your body and mind in the course of daily living? Culture tells me that, unless I sit behind the same desk at the same fucking time every fucking day, doing something that bored the shit out of me while watching the sun course through the sky in a filter of UV-deflective glass, I will not be able to live a decent life. I will not be able to afford health insurance, dental work, decent food or a good place to live. Why not?
How would I like to live, then? At the rate I'm "figuring it out", I may never know know, but I do know that there are certain ways that I don't want to live. I don't want to sit on my ass all day - it doesn't feel good and it's so fucking boring. I mean, what's the point of it? You sit, you can't even think meaningful or interesting thoughts, you sit upright in the same place for 8 hours each day, move your fingertips and virtually move things around but what are you doing? You're literally a cog in a very unforgiving machine. Your body and your mind rot so that someone else can sit around and think? Is that true? Does it matter? Does it matter why you're rotting? - whether there's a cultural excuse for the loss of your freedom? What did you do? What did I do?
Don't be in a desk jockey shit hole. It will kill you while you breathe - and dying is no way to live.
11 May 2012
26 April 2012
Narrative #34, This One's For You, Jess.
Feelings feelings, feelings.
What is life? Feeling the importance of every moment? Realizing the most fun thing you could possibly do and then do that a lot? Depriving yourself of the fun things? What is the meaning of it - is it fun to think about?
Why do I love doing this stuff so much? Love like I love music and all things that are awesome. I don't know that I want to entertain people, it's more like I want people to adore me. Damn, that felt good to get out there.
That's it. That's everything. I want everyone, everywhere to affirm my existence. That's depraved. It's like I'm everyone's bitch! How did that happen? How did this happen?
Well, what then is me to admire? What am I? And who? Am I the way I look? Am I what I say, and to whom? Maybe a set of lenses, or TVs, looking around? Some sort of robot, taking notes and keeping logs? Scary.
What about thinking, then? What the shit does that mean? How do you think? What is thinking - is it the voice-over narrative of everything? Is it more, that's unexplained in words? And when I'm sitting here, "thinking", I mostly feel insane because I can't concentrate on anything and then at some point I find that I'm thinking about sex and I feel a little guilty because I was trying to think of something serious.
The shower is a great place to think, by the way. And a great place to have sex. Which makes it an even better place to think. Win-fucking-win. Have sex in the shower, ladies and gentlemen - GOOD NIGHT!
Why do I love doing this stuff so much? Love like I love music and all things that are awesome. I don't know that I want to entertain people, it's more like I want people to adore me. Damn, that felt good to get out there.
That's it. That's everything. I want everyone, everywhere to affirm my existence. That's depraved. It's like I'm everyone's bitch! How did that happen? How did this happen?
Well, what then is me to admire? What am I? And who? Am I the way I look? Am I what I say, and to whom? Maybe a set of lenses, or TVs, looking around? Some sort of robot, taking notes and keeping logs? Scary.
What about thinking, then? What the shit does that mean? How do you think? What is thinking - is it the voice-over narrative of everything? Is it more, that's unexplained in words? And when I'm sitting here, "thinking", I mostly feel insane because I can't concentrate on anything and then at some point I find that I'm thinking about sex and I feel a little guilty because I was trying to think of something serious.
The shower is a great place to think, by the way. And a great place to have sex. Which makes it an even better place to think. Win-fucking-win. Have sex in the shower, ladies and gentlemen - GOOD NIGHT!
18 April 2012
Global Embracement, Age of Empires style
We know this is false, we've seen it before.
We're not in other countries to promote 'democracy' the ideal, we're there fighting to sustain 'democracy' the way of life for some.
And that means America is King. It's true, it's disgusting. Since WWII and the fear of another Depression, we've "embraced" a global economy.
Let's explain it in terms of a successful Age of Empires campaign. If you haven't played this game before, it's pretty much played like you'd think from the title. You build up an empire as a certain race of people and then either fight people to total annihilation or create treaties with them. One way to guarantee your future empire-awesomeness is to spread out on the limited map early. Get miners to mineral sites, loggers to forests and barracks anywhere you can. This way, you ensure that you have the most wealth and therefore strength, even when it means encroaching on some other race's natural resources. That is how you win quickly.
This is how America works. Want to interfere in Latin American markets without being afraid of native populations revolting against American corporations stealing their shit? NAFTA. Want to start a war over oil in a country struggling to combat its own internal conflicts? Weapons of mass destruction. Want to spruce up the ol' economy, line the pockets of your politicians and give jobs to your contractor friends? Reinvigorate the idea of American Supremacy and go fight in Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and Pakistan. Want to reneg on the American contract of life, liberty and property because it threatens your economic status? Domestic terrorism.
All so we can feel better about the size of our dicks.
We're not in other countries to promote 'democracy' the ideal, we're there fighting to sustain 'democracy' the way of life for some.
And that means America is King. It's true, it's disgusting. Since WWII and the fear of another Depression, we've "embraced" a global economy.
Let's explain it in terms of a successful Age of Empires campaign. If you haven't played this game before, it's pretty much played like you'd think from the title. You build up an empire as a certain race of people and then either fight people to total annihilation or create treaties with them. One way to guarantee your future empire-awesomeness is to spread out on the limited map early. Get miners to mineral sites, loggers to forests and barracks anywhere you can. This way, you ensure that you have the most wealth and therefore strength, even when it means encroaching on some other race's natural resources. That is how you win quickly.
This is how America works. Want to interfere in Latin American markets without being afraid of native populations revolting against American corporations stealing their shit? NAFTA. Want to start a war over oil in a country struggling to combat its own internal conflicts? Weapons of mass destruction. Want to spruce up the ol' economy, line the pockets of your politicians and give jobs to your contractor friends? Reinvigorate the idea of American Supremacy and go fight in Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and Pakistan. Want to reneg on the American contract of life, liberty and property because it threatens your economic status? Domestic terrorism.
All so we can feel better about the size of our dicks.
02 April 2012
Living with dignity
Often the argument for medical euthanasia is to let the dying die with dignity. Well, why the hell don't we demand to live with dignity?
We are living under a government that is nothing more than a few rich, mostly white men who use the influence of their global corporations to write laws to benefit them and not us.
What is freedom if not the right to choose how to live, without affecting the freedom of others?
What are these laws that humiliate us? Who voted for them? We have people in government declaring themselves important and capable that are no more than criminals who lie, steal and further corrupt.
And what do we do when the money we pay goes to corrupt institutions?
Essentially, we have no choice. We pay money for war and internal corruption and greater police presence and NOT for education and NOT for helping the poor and NOT for helping the sick because it is a crime not to. We are arrested, beaten and oppressed for gathering in protest. We are now legally strip searched for any reason. We are tracked on our phones without warrant or reason.
So, we live day-to-day, trying to carve out a 'respectable' existence for ourselves and our families, with no time to care about the community, to help one another, to resist our oppressors. We're locked into student loan debt (which is the only way most of us can get educations), mortgage debt (much of it illegal, most of it unfair), paying taxes we disagree with, paying bailouts that do nothing but continue to bolster fraudulent activities and pay bonuses to those responsible for our loss of our houses.
Where is dignity? What is dignity? How can we live with dignity?
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
We are living under a government that is nothing more than a few rich, mostly white men who use the influence of their global corporations to write laws to benefit them and not us.
What is freedom if not the right to choose how to live, without affecting the freedom of others?
What are these laws that humiliate us? Who voted for them? We have people in government declaring themselves important and capable that are no more than criminals who lie, steal and further corrupt.
And what do we do when the money we pay goes to corrupt institutions?
Essentially, we have no choice. We pay money for war and internal corruption and greater police presence and NOT for education and NOT for helping the poor and NOT for helping the sick because it is a crime not to. We are arrested, beaten and oppressed for gathering in protest. We are now legally strip searched for any reason. We are tracked on our phones without warrant or reason.
So, we live day-to-day, trying to carve out a 'respectable' existence for ourselves and our families, with no time to care about the community, to help one another, to resist our oppressors. We're locked into student loan debt (which is the only way most of us can get educations), mortgage debt (much of it illegal, most of it unfair), paying taxes we disagree with, paying bailouts that do nothing but continue to bolster fraudulent activities and pay bonuses to those responsible for our loss of our houses.
Where is dignity? What is dignity? How can we live with dignity?
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
01 April 2012
Humor is truth, truth is humor
I don't know what thoughts I'd have to share with the world right now - I feel paralyzed, just paralyzed. What can I do? I feel small and weak. I feel like I'm fighting a tide, inside and out. Sometimes I wonder if the situation will improve much - either from without or within. I desperately hope so, but I don't know how to be a catalyst and I don't have the faintest idea why not.
The government is a plague of petty men, who upon declaring themselves 'important', set to control more and more. They cannot be separate from the laws if they benefit from those laws. And if they are not separate from those laws, they should not be trusted to make them. But what's the solution? Stupid little ruler wannabes. You think if you abstract the issue enough, the people will not realize that the burden is still on their shoulders?
We are not helpless.
The government is a plague of petty men, who upon declaring themselves 'important', set to control more and more. They cannot be separate from the laws if they benefit from those laws. And if they are not separate from those laws, they should not be trusted to make them. But what's the solution? Stupid little ruler wannabes. You think if you abstract the issue enough, the people will not realize that the burden is still on their shoulders?
We are not helpless.
29 March 2012
Other people's shit.
It's not a matter of not growing up.
It's not a matter of not being responsible.
It's a matter of waking up one morning and realizing that you've got to deal with other people's shit, as well as your own that's the problem. Because other people are assholes, you have to spend your life fighting and stressing.
It's not a matter of not being responsible.
It's a matter of waking up one morning and realizing that you've got to deal with other people's shit, as well as your own that's the problem. Because other people are assholes, you have to spend your life fighting and stressing.
05 March 2012
Insurgo.
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
You did everything right. You worked hard, abstained from most "bad" things, paid your taxes, got a degree - maybe even 2 or 3! - and yet it feels like you're being punished.
Those who taught us are afraid to admit that they don't know either; it would make their lives worthless if the people who told you to live this way were not lying to themselves.
This life is already meaningless enough. Why else do we have to constantly train ourselves with media and movies and ads so that we understand the importance of correct behavior - like being in the right social circle, agreeing with the crowd (and sticking up for your bros (!), not necessarily your values. BROS!!!), deference to wastes of human tradition (because God totally wants us to live like spoiled little shits) and the longing (L-O-N-G-I-N-G) to be a princess and finally realize how special and undervalued you really are!
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
But you're doing everything right. You exercise, you date, you buy things to support the economy, you eat organic food, you vote. The goodness of mankind will ensure that the most likable, best candidate for the job will win and make the rules for 4 years! He'll (or she! Of course someday it'll happen! Mankind is essentially good and fair, right?!!) make sure to defend the average person's interests and, if we don't like what he or the other elected officials are doing, we can completely change it, uniting as people and picking an even better guy (or gal!)!
0 for 2 - none of those people give a shit what any average person anywhere thinks. They understand that a few very rich individuals control most of the choices This Great Nation makes, including wars, the education system, the organic food lie, the growing income gap...and the only reason that he or she even got to be a candidate is because they've made some very steep promises - not to you or I - but to these very wealthy people. It's like a horribly disgusting scene from a movie where the good-looking protagonist is forced to do the evil bidding of some overweight, ugly, pimply, fat slob who only wants to be more powerful. A la Baron Harkonnen (A.K.A. the floating fat man).
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
You'll continue to do everything right, because you don't know what else to do.
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
You'll work for a good company, you'll have children, you'll visit the commercial theme parks for fun, you'll temper your drinking, you'll set a good example, you'll blame something else when more of the ground water becomes contaminated, you'll throw dinner parties and cook something fancy, you'll blame the OTHER guy for sending us to war again, you'll pay back your student loans, you'll blame the populace for being too lazy, you'll watch "your" shows - even if you don't like them - so you can gchat your office pals about it and have a good laugh, you'll complain all the way to the grave because of how bad things are - how bad people are letting things get, not like when you were young and everything was great because people cared, like you.
INSURGO - INSURGI - INSURRECTUM.
RISE UP - REBEL - REVOLT.
You did everything right. You worked hard, abstained from most "bad" things, paid your taxes, got a degree - maybe even 2 or 3! - and yet it feels like you're being punished.
Those who taught us are afraid to admit that they don't know either; it would make their lives worthless if the people who told you to live this way were not lying to themselves.
This life is already meaningless enough. Why else do we have to constantly train ourselves with media and movies and ads so that we understand the importance of correct behavior - like being in the right social circle, agreeing with the crowd (and sticking up for your bros (!), not necessarily your values. BROS!!!), deference to wastes of human tradition (because God totally wants us to live like spoiled little shits) and the longing (L-O-N-G-I-N-G) to be a princess and finally realize how special and undervalued you really are!
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
But you're doing everything right. You exercise, you date, you buy things to support the economy, you eat organic food, you vote. The goodness of mankind will ensure that the most likable, best candidate for the job will win and make the rules for 4 years! He'll (or she! Of course someday it'll happen! Mankind is essentially good and fair, right?!!) make sure to defend the average person's interests and, if we don't like what he or the other elected officials are doing, we can completely change it, uniting as people and picking an even better guy (or gal!)!
0 for 2 - none of those people give a shit what any average person anywhere thinks. They understand that a few very rich individuals control most of the choices This Great Nation makes, including wars, the education system, the organic food lie, the growing income gap...and the only reason that he or she even got to be a candidate is because they've made some very steep promises - not to you or I - but to these very wealthy people. It's like a horribly disgusting scene from a movie where the good-looking protagonist is forced to do the evil bidding of some overweight, ugly, pimply, fat slob who only wants to be more powerful. A la Baron Harkonnen (A.K.A. the floating fat man).
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
You'll continue to do everything right, because you don't know what else to do.
Insurgo, insurgi, insurrectum.
You'll work for a good company, you'll have children, you'll visit the commercial theme parks for fun, you'll temper your drinking, you'll set a good example, you'll blame something else when more of the ground water becomes contaminated, you'll throw dinner parties and cook something fancy, you'll blame the OTHER guy for sending us to war again, you'll pay back your student loans, you'll blame the populace for being too lazy, you'll watch "your" shows - even if you don't like them - so you can gchat your office pals about it and have a good laugh, you'll complain all the way to the grave because of how bad things are - how bad people are letting things get, not like when you were young and everything was great because people cared, like you.
INSURGO - INSURGI - INSURRECTUM.
RISE UP - REBEL - REVOLT.
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